Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Best Intended Cupcake...

Sometime even my best intended plans find a way of changing themselves on me.

This is the story of how a bulldog shaped hole and a lonely seven year old caused my well thought out, I Am Standing By This No Matter What plans to change in a matter of a week.

Back in December, we quickly and tragically lost our Pig.

In February I started to worry about how quickly things would go once we had a dog free house. Shawn wanted a summer pup since he is home in the summer. I wanted a winter pup since that is what Pig and Daisy were and I found it to be wildly successful.

I made the declaration that under no circumstances were they to ask me for a puppy until next spring when we return from Hawaii. They could have a puppy waiting on the front steps on our arrival home for all I care but until then, I would not be having that conversation.

In April, after a very long and horribly difficult battle with cancer, we lost our Daisy. It was tragic.

We spent a few months without any dogs around. It was interesting seeing how the cats, Eddie and Pete, acted when they were the only pets in the house. That's a post for another day.

We also spent those few months trying to deal with the gravity of the situation.

Who are the Kuykendall's without a dog? Was that an answer I really needed to find before we should bring another puppy in the house?

My friends made me a necklace to help me deal with the pain of this loss.

I was healing. It is a very slow process and I am not completely there yet.

While Heidi seemed to deal with everything very well about a month after Daisy was gone she started to get really scared. She was having a very hard time going to sleep and said she was worried about what would happen to our house without a dog in it. She worried about this all the time and the only time she found relief from these fears was when other dogs would come visit.

In the meantime, it was very, very clear, even though Shawn respected my decision to not get a dog until next year, that he had a very large Bulldog shape hole in his heart. And it would only be filled with a puppy.

All of this got me thinking long and hard about how people grieve and how people move on. In this area Shawn and I are very different.

I sat with this for about a week, asking my mom (that's what I do instead of pray) to send me signs showing me what to do.

After a few days I had three signs that said to move forward with a puppy but to be cautious.

Later that evening, I told Shawn that he could get a puppy but only if the puppy could be here by the middle of July. With Shawn moving schools this year I did not want a puppy when the school year was starting. Even though I am the one who wanted a winter dog, after really thinking about that I realize that Shawn would be doing most of the training and he had a real point about a summer puppy.

Over the week he researched breeders, reached out to a friend who recently adopted a bulldog puppy, and eventually found a breeder with a litter just over in Wisconsin.  After talking to this breeder for a few days and learning about the parents and the litter, we drove out to Wisconsin to meet the pups.

I will tell the story about the meeting in a few days. I think you all know how this ends.

It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you our new Bulldog Puppy, 9 week old, 11.5 pound, Cupcake Princess.

1 comment:

Erin said...

Such a sweet baby girl!