Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Journey to a Better Kara: Chapter 2

Chapter 1 in my fitness journey was very typical. I found things that worked for me, I had the motivation, and I stuck with it. (Link Not Just Running)

People would compliment me all the time but I just did not see it.

I had lost 40 pounds and I honestly did not see a difference. I mean sure, I had given away all my pants and, a huge thanks the Shannon and Barb, had started to wear an almost entirely new wardrobe. And yeah, my stomach didn't hang over like it used to. But really, I didn't see it.

I weight myself every day because it hold me accountable. I weigh at the same time every day, just after I shower but before I eat anything. This way I have a pretty decent baseline of where I am. Then I sync my bodybugg to the computer and make any last minute meal updates from the day before. While I am doing this I reflect on that number on the scale.

If it was higher than I wanted, I look at what I ate and how much I burned and figure out what caused the gain.

If it was low, I look at the same things and celebrate the loss.

I never beat myself up. I just take it day by day.

I was seeing the change in my attitude and I was seeing a change in my energy levels but the fact that I wasn't seeing a change in my body really made me starting understand body dysmorphic disorder.

I am not saying I had it but even with forcing myself to look at myself in the mirror regularly I just could not see what everyone else was seeing.

Until one day when it all changed. I did see how much I had lost but I also saw that my curves were disappearing. Not the curve of my stomach, but the curves of my butt and my chest. These are curves I spent a lifetime loving. I didn't what to lose them!

Boy did I whine! Shannon and Shawn can attest to this and they both got the brunt of the whining. And they both thought I was being silly.

I didn't think I was being silly at all. It was a real concern of mine. If my butt was going to go flat then I need to stop now and be happy at 200 pounds.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this as it was truly bothering me. It might sound silly but I am certain I am not the only person who has felt this way.

I decided the best thing to do is take a break. I am on life long journey to find a healthy body weight and then maintain it. This is not a crash course in dieting nor is it race to the finish.

I ended up taking a maintenance break from January to May where I lost about 5 more pounds. I would go up a few, down a few, up a couple, down a couple. It was exactly what my life will be like when I hit my healthy body weight and I am so glad I took the time to do this because I learned a lot about myself during these months.

First, I learned that I will be able to maintain. I now have the confidence that I will not gain all my weight back as soon as I hit my target.

Second, my body was able to "settle" into it's new normal. And guess what? I am the same shape I was before I started, just narrower and I love it!

Third, I do not want any kind of skin reduction surgery so I better figure out what to do about my Flying Squirrel arms really soon.

And finally, chapter 2 will be a 20 pound loss. When I hit that I will reassess and make my next set of goals.

Also, as part of chapter 2, I will recap my week each Wednesday and report my weigh loss here. You are welcome to follow along.

Since this post didn't contain any pictures I am going to throw this in here. When I participated in the Lucky 7 7k in March this picture was taken as I crossed the bridge. And it was PUBLISHED in a MAGAZINE for RUNNERS! How insane is that?!  Erin called me one day and said "Oh, you are in my mom's running magazine, I will bring it to you." I just cannot get over how awesome this is!

That's me - number 5610!


thecoffeehouse said...

your paragraph about it being a "life long journey". love this. and you are so right. you totally got this. :)

GingerSnap23 said...

Love it!!