Here is the story I will submit with my Mother of the Year application.
Setting: our house, this morning. We have two bathrooms which share a common wall. Heidi is in the main bathroom and I am in my bathroom. Keep in mind this entire conversation takes place through the wall. And, sometimes Heidi is just fun to mess with.
Heidi: Mom! Come here!
Me: What do you need?
Heidi: My pants don’t fit. I don’t want to wear them.
Me: I don’t think your pants will fit me.
Heidi: What? Come here. My pants don’t fit.
Me: I know, your pants will not fit me.
Heidi: Mom! I need you to get me new pants.
Me: Yeah, I got new pants last night. I think I am going to wear them today.
Heidi: What? I don’t know what you are saying! I just need you to get me new pants.
Me: (laughing uncontrollably) Heidi, I told you I am wearing my new pants. You would not fit them anyway.
Heidi: I just don’t know what you are talking about! I need you to get me new pants. From my room. Please.
Me: (doubled over in laughter) What? I can’t hear you very well.
Heidi: I am so frustrated right now! I just don’t know what you are talking about.
Me: (crying) You are excited? About what? My new pants?
Heidi: MOM! PLEASE JUST COME HERE!!
Wait. Now that I think about it. That was kind of mean. Maybe that’s not the story I should submit for mother of the year. Never mind.