Mother of the Year Application

Here is the story I will submit with my Mother of the Year application.

Setting: our house, this morning. We have two bathrooms which share a common wall. Heidi is in the main bathroom and I am in my bathroom. Keep in mind this entire conversation takes place through the wall. And, sometimes Heidi is just fun to mess with.

Heidi: Mom! Come here!

Me: What do you need?

Heidi: My pants don’t fit. I don’t want to wear them.

Me: I don’t think your pants will fit me.

Heidi: What? Come here. My pants don’t fit.

Me: I know, your pants will not fit me.

Heidi: Mom! I need you to get me new pants.

Me: Yeah, I got new pants last night. I think I am going to wear them today.

Heidi: What? I don’t know what you are saying! I just need you to get me new pants.

Me: (laughing uncontrollably) Heidi, I told you I am wearing my new pants. You would not fit them anyway.

Heidi: I just don’t know what you are talking about! I need you to get me new pants. From my room. Please.

Me: (doubled over in laughter) What? I can’t hear you very well.

Heidi: I am so frustrated right now! I just don’t know what you are talking about.

Me: (crying) You are excited? About what? My new pants?

Heidi: MOM! PLEASE JUST COME HERE!!

Wait. Now that I think about it. That was kind of mean. Maybe that’s not the story I should submit for mother of the year. Never mind.