My little Baconator

Heidi loves bacon. She could eat it for every meal if I would let her.

A few weeks ago Heidi, Shannon, Shawn, and I went to Hardee’s for lunch. At Hardee’s it is a challenge to not get a sandwich with bacon on it. Heidi learned this at a young age and promptly demanded everyone’s bacon on arrival of the meal.

While in Arizona having dinner with Grandma and Frank, Heidi took control of Grandma’s bacon very quickly. Luckily Grandma was more than willing to hand it over.

Now, on to this morning’s story.

On occasion I will splurge and buy Heidi the pre-cooked bacon from Oscar Mayer. When I do this I am careful not to let her know it is in the house until I am prepared to allow her to eat bacon for the next 6 meals.

This morning I was packing her lunch while she watched Curious George on TPTKids. I wasn’t sure what to pack and spent my entire time getting myself showered and dressed thinking of what to make her when I remembered the bacon.

I decided to make her a ham and provolone sandwich with mayo and bacon.

My mistake was offering her bacon for breakfast as well. Now she had the taste for bacon which unleashed the baconator within.

Here is a narration of the rest of our morning together.

Me: Heidi, would you like anything else with your bacon? Like cereal or toast?

Heidi: No, more bacon would be good.

Me: No, Heidi. 4 pieces is enough. If you are still hungry I will make you some toast.

Heidi: No, I am full. Did you put bacon in my lunch?

Me: Yes. (I made it a rule a few months ago not to tell her what I pack to avoid the next set of circumstances)

Heidi: Is it just bacon or did you put it on something?

Me: I put it on a sandwich (I will only break my rule if my other choice is to lie)

Heidi: I will take that sandwich apart! I only want the bacon!!

Me: That’s fine but you are bringing the sandwich to school.

Heidi: No! I will take that sandwich apart, RIGHT NOW!

Me: You most certainly will not. (Since she rarely leaves George in the middle of an episode I assume this conversation is over and leave the room. I need to pack her dance clothes before we leave and we are running short on time.)

I return to the kitchen, passing thru the living room and don’t even notice she is not on the couch. I enter the kitchen and she is standing there with her sandwich pulled apart on the top of her Tupperware container. The lunch box is still in the dining room, bacon safely in the bottom part of the Tupperware in her lunch box.

Me: Heidi! What are you doing?!

Heidi: WHAAAAAAAA!!!

I realize she is about to feed the sandwich to the dogs so that she can take the bacon to school without the sandwich. She figures if she can get ride of the sandwich and return the Tupperware to her lunch box before I get to the kitchen I will not know that she only had bacon for lunch.

Now I have caught her and she doesn’t know what to do.

Me: Heidi! You cannot feed your sandwich to the dogs and only have bacon for lunch!

Heidi: If I take the sandwich, they will make me eat it before I can have my bacon!

Me: (Trying very hard not to laugh) You need to have more than bacon, this is not okay (suppressed laughter), you need to go sit on the couch while I put this sandwich back together.

In the end I agreed to cut the crust off, making a much smaller sandwich, the bacon was placed outside of the sandwich so she could eat it plain, and the dogs got a lot of crust and ham. I think everyone was happy.